Constructive vs Destructive- The Cosplay Community at War

Constructive vs Destructive- The Cosplay Community at War

The cosplay community is at war.

It is a daily battle between the positive and the negative.

With so much of the cosplay community online, there is an overwhelming opportunity for people to be just down right nasty, and hide being this social media persona of "being real."

I wish this said "be your best self on facebook"

The thing that people fail to realize is that by acting this way, they aren't being real or honest, they are being destructive; and sadly this happens constantly in this community.

I've heard from people that 

"Cosplay is an art, and that kind of adversity is what makes better artists."
or even 

"If you can't take it then you shouldn't be doing it"

I come from a background of theater. I have been an actress, dancer, and singer most of my life. I have given everything I am to the arts, and never would I agree with this.

Sure pulling from life's adversities can influence art, but that doesn't make it others responsibility to be the driving force behind that adversity, and then sit back and act like they did nothing wrong.

We have to lift each other up

This doesn't mean that we have to like everything we see; or lie and tell people their work is our favorite or amazing when its not.

It means that we have to be constructive.

Criticism does make better artists. Its how we learn of new techniques that we may otherwise not have known.
But the word criticism does not have to be directly associated with negativity.
Our community needs to put into practice the ability to criticize in a way that teaches, rather than a way that bullies. 

It is so much harder to chose to be positive and helpful, than to simply attack someone or something; just as hatred is a much easier emotion than forgiveness.

 The flip side to this is that we also have to stop feeding the negativity with negative attention.

While it gives me hope when I see the community rise against bullying, sometimes it happens in a way that just turns into a ball of negativity itself.

The best tool we have against hate, is positive support.

So next time you see someone posting nasty comments, instead of fighting back and feeding the fire; show the subject support and positive criticism and advise.  Build them up to be better.

Don't let the focus become on the one bad egg, but rather on the work that was there in the first place.

This is our community, and we have to work to make it what we want.

"Prude Shaming"

Living life as a Cosplayer, I have stumbled across the term "slut shaming"

From Wikipedia:Slut shaming (also hyphenated, as slut-shaming) is defined as the act of making a woman [person] feel guilty or inferior for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that deviate from traditional or orthodox gender expectations, dressing in sexually provocative ways, for requiring access to birth control, or even for being raped or sexually assaulted.

From what I have seen in the cosplaying community, this tends to be aimed at cosplayers (specifically women) who dress in a revealing manner, whether or not it is part of a characters design.

Now as I have stated before, what a person wears is their choice.

I personally choose not to cosplay in a revealing manner. It is a personal preference for me and my comfort level. I would never say a woman can't or shouldn't wear something if that's what they want to wear. My only stand on the issue of revealing clothes is to maybe be considerate of the location, time, and environment you are wearing them in.
(ex- if there are children around, maybe wait to wear the revealing outfit until they have left or it has past the reasonable hour for them to be around.)
But, as I believe in any aspect of life, we should always be aware and courteous to how our actions and behaviors effect those around us.

What people don't realize is just as big of a problem in the cosplay community is what I like to call "prude shaming"

This, to me, is the act of making a person guilty or inferior for choosing not to be revealing with their behavior, dress, or costumes.

It is important to understand that ,just because a person doesn't choose to be revealing or open about their sexuality, doesn't mean they hate everyone who does.
It is a truth in the cosplaying community, and  in our world, that sex sells.
To deny this would be silly.But to put down or ignore those people who do not choose that path is just as wrong as putting down those who do.

Too often people believe that people who remain covered have specific reasons for it.

• Their religion
• They have been victimized by sexual assault
• They look down on those who are sexually open
• They are ashamed of their bodies
• They are jealous of others
• They are disgusted by sexuality in any form

None of these reason need apply in order to be a cosplayer who stays covered.

Assumptions on both ends of this issue are what keep the hateful words flowing.

I have been approached many times, in both a respectful and disrespectful manner, on why I don't show more skin. I have heard ever reason possible on why they think I don't, and why they think I should.
I'm very open with having discussion on my choices with others as long as the conversation can remain respectful.For me I like to keep my attention on the costume and my love of a character. When people see my cosplays I would rather them see what I love and not just me in an outfit. This is how I approach my work as a cosplayer. This is just how I choose to show my appreciation to the characters I love, but there are a million other ways to do so. What is right for me may not be what is right for someone else.... and that's fine!
Thats what makes cosplaying so beautiful. You will never get the same result or perspective twice.

What we have to remember as a community is that it is never okay to be spiteful, angry, are hateful to someone for their beliefs or actions, as long as those beliefs and actions are doing no harm and are not bulling others.
We should stand up for those, both covered and uncovered, who face ridicule and bullying everyday.
If you see it happening, say something.

Because in the end the real issue isn't if you chose to be naked, or fully covered.

It's about Respect.